Low libido in women or low sexual desire is the most common sexual problem affecting at least one-third of women. Some women are much distressed over this loss of libido, feeling as if they are letting their partners down. However there are many things women can do to rekindle their passion and bring pleasure back in their sex lives.

What can cause the loss of libido in women?

(1) Psychological issues

Fear of pregnancy can hurt sex drive. This is especially so in those Roman Catholic societies where the church frowns on contraceptives and abortion. Problems with physical or mental health, medication, recreational drug abuse, past sexual abuse and daily life stress are other factors.

(2) Negative views on sex

Double standards on sex can have a big effect on women's sexual desire. Men are looked at as studs if they are sexual, but women are being viewed negatively if they behave in the same way. Some of us are being fed with some negative sex beliefs such as sex is dirty or immoral, or should only be used for procreation. All these negative views can kill sex drive.

(3) Biological factors

Hormonal fluctuations due to pregnancy, breast-feeding and pre-menopause syndrome can lessen sexual desire. Vaginal dryness which can result from declining estrogen levels can cause painful sex and loss of libido. Testosterone level also affects libido in women which normally peaks when they are around 25 years old and declines from there until menopause.

(4) Relationship problems

What happens outside the bedroom will eventually set the mood inside the bedroom. Conflict in other parts of the relationship can affect sex life. Differences over monetary matters, child rearing, and relationship with in-laws can result in anger, resentment and cause women to mentally shut out sex.

How to rekindle the passion?

(1) Focusing on own needs

The thing that can most inhibit desire in women is to be too concerned about others at the expense of own interests and comfort. If women want to enjoy sex and have orgasm, they need to pander to their own needs and to do the things that can pleasure themselves.

(2) Improving intimacy

Before looking for ways to spice up sex life, it helps to work on improving the intimate connection first. Studies have proven that a simple touch can help to release endorphins in the brain that not only make us feel loved, but want to give love in return. Surprise her with an unexpected hug, a surprisingly romantic or a naughty tickling.

(3) Injecting some novelty

Marriage life inevitably sinks into boredom and hurts libido if both gets too comfortable with routine. Change the place and time to have sex, experience with different sex positions, and create a conducive mood for sex in the bedroom, living room, kitchen or just anywhere you can imagine. Try role-playing to be someone or something else, dress up and play sexy games with your partner. Do something different or adventurous outside of the bedroom as well. Consider watching horror movies, riding a roller coaster, or doing bungee jump, trying an exotic cuisine with your partner in a newly opened restaurant.

(4) Stimulating yourself

It can be pressurizing for some women to have orgasm with their partners. A way to overcome this is to engage in masturbation. This process can help a woman to discover what and how she can be aroused. After knowing what feels good, you can guide your partner in how he can please you sexually.

(5) Using lubricants

If vaginal dryness is a problem, go to a local pharmacy or sex shop where you can choose the different flavors and aromas of lubricants. Applying estrogen cream into the vagina can help to increase vaginal secretions. If possible, you can discuss with your doctor about the options before trying anything.

(6) Having realistic expectations

What you often see in porn movies is usually not an accurate reflection of reality and can be exaggerating at times. If sometimes you cannot have orgasm during sex, it can be due to some temporary factors and is not due to your fault. If you are concerned about how you look when naked that you want to make love with lights off, you are probably too harsh in evaluating your own body. Your partner probably finds you more attractive than you think you are. So you should relax, be kinder to yourself, just enjoy the process of lovemaking and gradually your libido will return.

(7) Having a deep conversation

You should not expect your partner to be able to read your mind like a book all the time. If you want pleasure during sex, the simplest way is to let your partner knows what arouses you. Put your request in a compliment rather than a complaint. For example, you can say, "It really turns me on when you take your time on foreplay before we have sex." For discussions on sex, it is better for this to take place outside of the bedroom to avoid been too pressurizing to both sides.

All strong relationships require communication, effort and a little commitment to spice things up. If you want help to make your love life interesting and satisfying again, you can click on Increase Libido and Save My Marriage.